Rejection

Today my inspiration comes from what will hopfully be my last job rejection. Today I got a call from another hospital in Kansas City. Once again, they will be unable to hire me until I pass my boards. I totally understand...I wouldnt hire me either. About a month ago, I failed my nursing licensure test. After I found out, I sat there and thought hmmmm what should I do now. I called my friend Lindsey on my way home from work and she was like well, lets talk this through. What we came down to was, Ive been bitching about nursing for at least 6 months now and maybe this was the last "sign" that I need to do something else (at least for right now). Honestly, if I had not signed my lease in KC, I would have been on the phone immediatly figuring out how to be assigned to a mission corps, but there was a reason I signed that lease. I am supposed to be in Kansas City. I dont know why yet, but I will let you know. All that said you might ask...."Megbow, why did you go ahead and apply at hospitals if you had such a peace about the test results?" I will tell you. I have spent more time helping others feel ok about the results than even caring myself. It gets frustrating and sometimes I even check to make sure Im not making it up, but Im not,,,,I seriously am not bothered. I lost a lot of pride last semester thanks to nursing, marcus, and Mikes Hard lemonade so maybe that has a lot to do with it, or maybe this really is not the end of the world.
So, about these rejection phone calls. I felt a lot of pressure from many places to still apply for nursing jobs because to those sources, it made a lot of sense. I was trained as a nurse and I should try to get on at a hospital. However after painful interviews and phone calls from people who made me feel like an idiot for even trying, I remembered once again, nursing is not the end all for me. Yes I have goals and this might be a slight detor, but I honestly believe that God called me to this training for a reason, but I believe it is the same God who gave me peace about what could possibly be the most embarrasing thing that has ever happened to me and that requires closer examination.
I recently talked to a counselor from the University of Cinncinnati about their masters program in Midwifry. Dont you need your license for that meg? Im glad you asked...Of course I need my license which is why Im going to retake my test, but I wont be working in a hospital unless something changes. I am going to look for a job at Starbucks or something like it and save some money, take my test, apply for the program, perhaps do some volunteer work and become a midwife without working on a medsurg floor where I have to sacrifice my calming, gentle spirit and yell at old people because they cannot hear me.
Well I have to go now because we are having a good bye dinner for me.
Love
Megan