Birth Story

Well here it is if you want it, but Im not forcing it on you. :) On Sunday January 30th at 2:30 am, I woke up to a new "sensation." 7 minutes or so later when it happened again, I realized, these might be contractions. I could be in labor. I couldnt really fall back asleep because I kept having these contractions so I watched the clock while I laid there and tried to practice relaxing. I was having them fairly regularly, but they were not too intense. I went downstairs around 6 am to get a change in scenery. I also called my mom and told her I thought she should go ahead and come. It was a 9 hour drive so I wanted to give her plenty of notice. Brandon woke up around 7 and I told him I was in early labor and wanted pancakes. :) He took me to Winsteads. Then we took a little walk (in the cold with snow on the ground). I decided I wanted to try to go to church to distract me. Labor slowed down at church and I got very tired so I thought it would be good to take the break and get some rest. I do not think I fell asleep but I laid down for awhile. Brandon went and got some lunch. Around 3, my mom arrived. I was slightly frustrated that it had been 9 hours and I still felt about the same. I called Debbie since she was at the birth center and asked if she would just check me while she was there. When we got there, she said i was effacing, but only about 1 cm dilated. Again, slightly frustrating, but I knew I was not in crazy labor. I just hoped I could get some rest. My biggest fear in all of this was that I would be in labor for a long time and would get too exhausted to push when I needed to. I have been in the business long enough to know how much trouble that can cause, but who can sleep when you are going to meet your baby soon (and when you are having uncomfortable contractions every 3-9 minutes!)
That evening is kind of a blur. I took another walk. I laid down and napped a little for a couple hours between contractions. Then I got in the tub. I do not know when they picked up, but I remember that the contractions were more intense and it was getting late. I had brandon call Debbie and tell her that I wanted to come labor at the birth center. We got there around 11pm. Debbie checked me again and I was 1-2. WHAT! I was discouraged, but asked Debbie if I could stay and labor since we live with people and I knew I would not relax well if I felt like I was keeping them up. Brandon called Grace at that point. He and my mom were tired and not really sure how to help me any more. Grace was wonderful! She walked the halls with me and helped me relax during contractions. She helped me eat small snacks and give me drinks. I love her and will always be grateful to her for her help. Around 4 or 5 am, Debbie came to check on me again. I just knew I had to be at least 5-6. I had thrown up and I had the shakes and everything. so you can imagine my disappointment when after 24 hours of work, i was 3 cm. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?!?!? I broke down, along with my midwife. This was the point that Debbie told me later she wanted to throw me in the car and get me an epidural. Silly Debbie. She did give me some medicine to help me sleep though. While this was probably the thing that helped get me through without being completely exhausted, it also made that part of labor intense. For the next 3 or 4 hours, I would wake up every 3-12 min at the peak of a contraction. There was no way to relax or ease into the contractions. It just would hit me and I would jump out of bed like crazy person. I kept feeling like I needed to go to the bathroom, but mom would encourage me to lay back down, and most of the time I would fall right back asleep. Whenever I did have a 2nd contraction it was not as bad, but I was so sleepy I needed to go back to the bed. Around 8:30 or 9am, I got up during a contraction and went to the toilet. As I was sitting there I felt like I needed to poop. In my world that sometimes is code for you need to push. I told my mom to get Debbie. When she came in, I told her she better give me good news. She agreed. :) Luckily, she said I was about an 8! finally some progress. I finally felt like I was allowed to say I was "in labor" although the only thing that had really changed was some number. I decided to stop sleeping and get in the tub. About 20 min later, I started feeling pushy at the top of contractions. Debbie said, "are you complete" I said I dont know but my body is pushing. :) She let me go with it. For the next two hours, my stupid irregular contractions continued to be unpredictable. Over that time I started pushing a few more times with each contraction. At one point I remember mom saying, I bet the baby will be here by 10:30. I looked at the clock and it was about 10:10. I smiled to myself and thought...Silly mom! I was making good progress, but I was not going to shoot this baby out. I had brandon hold a mirror for me to watch and I kept my hand down there to protect myself. I remember the first time I felt her head, it was so encouraging. At this point I did not feel tired or frustrated, I felt strong and ready to see my baby. I am proud of this part of my labor. I know there is nothing I could have really done to help the first part go better or differently, but this part was something I felt like I did right. At one point I did feel like i had torn and then I just pushed her out because I thought the damage was already done. Luckily, I had not torn already and I did not tear at that point either. At 11:45 am, I was holding my sweet 6lb 12 oz baby girl Nora Kate! She was so sweet. I remember saying, She has no eyebrows. I am proud to tell you she has them now, although they are blonde and hard to see. :) So anyway, It was worth the 33 hours it took to get her here. It was worth the 9 months of pregnancy to grow her and it was worth the year of waiting to get pregnant. I love this baby, and yes I plan to do it again.

Great Expectations!

So here we are. I feel like I have been pregnant for about 2 years! Not because I am uncomfortable or have a huge baby, but because I have had this mindset of expectation for 2 years. After the miscarriage I spent the next 10 or so months trying to get pregnant again. Finally I did and for the last nine months I have been planning for Nora. I love being pregnant with her. Many people have expressed disgust with my glowing attitude toward growing a huge belly and not having too many complaints, but I feel very blessed. The first trimester almost did me in. I was anxious about losing another baby, I was nauseated and threw up many mornings from the icky smell in my kitchen. I did not want to eat, but knew that protein was my friend. It was hard times, man. Then enter the second trimester. There is nothing better, I am pretty sure. I felt happy, I felt cute from the emergence of this little belly. I got to find out the gender of my baby, and I could eat again! I admit I was slightly dreading the third trimester. What would happen to my body, would I be sore, tired angry? Honestly it has not been that bad. I am just now at 38 weeks having some trouble getting comfortable in my own bed, but once I can calm myself down and get into a semi comfy position, I sleep really well. This post is not to be braggy, but the way, I just really wanted to share my experience. My girl will be here any day. I cannot wait to meet her. I have been playing with her for the last few months. I think I will know her pretty well when she makes her appearance.
I do not know exactly how she will change my life. I still plan to finish school and try to work. I have never wanted to be a stay at home mom, but now that I am getting closer to having her, I get sad to think about leaving her with someone else. I am sure i will get used to it though. I do have a baby wrap though and I plan to use it so that no one will even know I have my baby with me. :)
As I am nearing the end, I can almost understand why people want to have early babies, against the recommendation of the March of Dimes. :) I always thought they were doing it because they were uncomfortable or selfish or just did not want to be pregnant anymore (actually I still believe that about people), but maybe deep down they are just so excited to meet their little ones. Maybe they are just going to burst if they cannot hold her in their arms! Maybe they want to share the joy they are feeling with others. I dont know, its just a thought.

Debt forgiveness

Ok so I think it is always appropriate to share good stories, so here is mine for today. I got a phone call this morning from a Collections Agency. The lady said she was calling on behalf of an online listing company that I had agreed to work with and then we never paid them. The background on this for me is that I know I have had many confusing phone calls from this company and I am always like, "sorry this is not my job to discuss advertising or marketing" and I have them speak with the correct people. The lady told me she had a recorded conversation of me agreeing to pay this very large amount of money. I asked her if I could please listen to the recording. She agreed. So as I began to hear this conversation, I could not believe my ears as this lady slyly verified my listing information (for work), then she said "can I send an invoice to you or a PO?" I sounded a bit confused and I said she could send an invoice. Then she said, "ok I will send an invoice for $499.95 to you." I said (very confused) "Wait, what" and she repeated the part about sending me an invoice only this time did not even say the price.
As I am listening to my own stupid self, I start BAWLING. Not like sweet little tears running down my little cheeks, but like ugly cry, red eyes, blotchy face sobbing. I am sitting there thinking, how could I have done this. Mercy and Truth can't afford me making a mistake like this....what was I thinking! I mean I was very upset. So anyway, the debt collector is back on the phone and she realizes I am crying (mostly because you would have to be deaf to not realize it at this point) so she starts saying, "megan...are you crying?...PLease stop crying...Megan, I do not understand what has made you this upset." for a few minutes she tries to understand me through sobs. Then she asked me to hold for a minute. When she got back on she said, "ok megan you HAVE to stop crying so I can tell you the good news." I did not really stop crying because at this point you cannot really stop the cascade of emotions that have over taken me, but I did my best. Then she said, ok it sounds like you made a mistake. I talked to my supervisor and he said I could cancel this debt for you.
At this point the last thing you should do is give me a new reason to cry (happy tears this time), but I did my best to hold them back. I kept thanking her and apologizing for my outburst. Then we talked for min about my pregnancy and Mercy and Truth. She asked me to promise I would never talk to online advertisers again and I did. Then she said she would pray for me and my new little family. :o
I have never had much of a "testimony." Although I truly believe we are all sinners and have much to be saved from, I have never really been able to identify with stories in the Bible that talk about the weight that forgiveness can take off of a person. I really felt like I had done something bad. Something that was definitely my fault, no matter how innocent of a mistake it was and for a moment I knew that I was guilty of something I could not make better. When she literally canceled my debt, she had done something for me that I never could have done for myself/mercy and truth. Anyway, the parable parallels are fairly obvious so i will stop, but I had to share my debt forgiveness realization. And I promise to try to be equally as gracious. I will not be the guy in the Bible that got forgiveness and turned around and demanded what was owed to him. And I promise not to talk to anyone on the phone again....EVER.

Mommy granola (or anybody really)

I am not ready to write part two of my health care blog yet. Today, I want to blog about my granola. I tried Shannon's granola last night at mama's group. It was so good and I know it was healthier than what I normally make and it was so rich and yummy. So I thought I would give it a whirl with what I had. Also on my mind was what a momma needs during the first few days/weeks post partum.


3 c rolled oats (toasted on 150 for 15 minutes or as long as it takes you to get everything else ready.)
1/2 c chopped walnuts
1/2 c almonds (soaked for 24 hours if possible. I did it for about 20 min and it was an amazing difference.)
1/4 c sunflower seeds (you can add pumpkin seeds too if youd like.)
2 T flax seeds (these can also be soaked)
1/2 c dried coconut flakes
1/8 c dark chocolate chips(I might add these after I bake it next time)

1/2 c black strap molasses
1/2 c maple syrup (I might not have used that much actually I forget)
1/8 c water
2 T oil
1tsp cinnamon
1 tsp nutmeg
1/4 tsp salt

mix the dry in one bowl
mix wet in other bowl
pour wet over dry
put on cookie sheet and bake at 350 for 30 minutes (stir half way through)


To make these even better for new mommies I can add Brewer's yeast which will help with milk production. Also the Oats help with this. This recipe is also awesome because it has molasses which has iron and calcium which is so great for energy and every new mom needs extra calcium when breastfeeding.
I might also figure out a way to use apricots which are great for getting your bowels moving well.
OK I hope you are

the healthcare bill

Here is my political stance. I know you didn’t ask for it, but here it is. I don’t like politics. I think government is necessary and chaos would quickly ensue if we take away rules and regulations. I also think we are too selfish and greedy to not have someone making decisions for the greater good (hopefully). That being said, I am a Christian. I personally want the church to step up and be in charge of caring for people and see their actions making it easier for people to live, especially people who get tangled in the systems set in place by our government who is trying to (hopefully) work for the greater good.
One thing that makes me madder than a hornet is when the church becomes political. I think there is a fine line between getting involved politically, living peaceably with decisions made by the government, and wholeheartedly siding with an existing political party. The latter of these I believe to be unchristian…. You heard me; I believe this is down right wrong. To believe that one party is trying to govern this country with Christian values and the other is completely evil is naïve and just silly. I believe that neither party is or could ever be completely Christian. So church…. please stop following one or the other blindly. Use your head!
This sort of blog is usually inspired by an election. I hate election time, because that is when Christians become especially annoying to me. They start talking about ungodly politicians and godly men of the Republican party. This is annoying. I feel bad for both men (and sometimes women). How can anyone live up to that, or overcome it as the case may be.
I often find myself siding with and voting for the Democratic candidate. Not necessarily because I agree with everything he/she will do or has done, but in order to balance out the Christians that blindly follow the republican ticket. With the recent passing of the Healthcare bill, I will admit that I do not know the future of healthcare and what exactly this bill will mean for us/me. What I do know is that change is necessary. We cannot keep living with the way things are going. If you do not know anyone who has suffered under the current system, you need to get out more. Will there be problems with the new system, yes, but I will say it again, we cannot continue to live under the current system. If you think you do not like the new system…I first of all encourage you to know what you are talking about before you claim you do not like it. Then, figure out what you do not like and let change start with you. How can you change your current way of life to avoid what you think you don’t like about the bill? If you are about to lose your current insurance, what is the best decision you can make for your family? Is there a way you can live more simply and start creating a Health Savings Account for your family? Are there people you are committed to living with and saving your money with in case of emergency? Are you a healthcare provider with a skill that can help people get the care they need or the preventative care they need to avoid serious medical costs? THIS IS OUR CHRISTIAN DUTY!!!! This is what Jesus life shows us. How many times in the Bible do you remember Jesus talking about the medical system of Jerusalem or Galilee? Yeah I can’t remember that being referenced either. BUT how many times can you remember him showing an example of caring for someone or asking someone to make a sacrifice so that someone else could have a better life?
So what can you do? How can we make a difference in light of or in spite of the changes being made in Washington?
So there it is. Now you know why I storm out of churches that preach politics and republican values. Now you know why I vote democrat. I think I have more to say about our Christian response to politics, but this is it for now.
Peace

Go Alkaline or go Home

I try to avoid things like New Years Resolutions or really anything that seems like a fad or will not last. That being said, I will tell you that Brandon and I took the New Year as a chance to make some healthy changes. We always "try" to be healthy with our eating and stay pretty active, and I think we do a good job, but there was room for change. I believe in making changes slowly if you are going to be successful. I have been looking into the Alkaline diet. This would be a huge change for us to go completely alkaline (which would also mean going mostly Vegan.) I don't think we are there yet. We like meat and I am not ready to completely give up yummy things. Some people talk about taking an 80/20 approach. That means going 80% good and allowing yourself 20% slack. If you want to know more about all of this, you should research it and I can share some yummy recipes if you want.
This change has made me do some thinking though. As I was talking to a friend the other day about the changes, he said, why are you doing this, you do not need to loose weight. This is sooooo not about losing weight. I think weight can show a lot about what is going on inside a person, but there are a lot of people walking around with sick insides and we might never suspect from the outside. I have suspected for awhile that I was sick. I have had symptoms for a long time that many doctors have looked puzzled by or said, well you are too young for the things your symptoms suggest so lets just wait and see what happens. REALLY? You want me to wait and see if I get cancer before we do anything about this?
I will not go into detail about my "problems" because it is gross and not the point. The point is, I am not going to wait for my body to get really sick. I want to prevent horrible things now.
So it's been about 3 weeks on the new diet. I have done a pretty good job of sticking with the change. Although I cannot see inside my body, I can tell you that I feel better. It could be a placebo effect though, so I will tell you that a major positive sign is that I am becoming more regular. (Sorry if that is gross, but it tells me a lot about what is going on inside.) Another perk of eating healthier is a cleaner kitchen. I am not using meat every day in my cooking, and that makes me feel good about the cleanliness of my kitchen. I have never had food poisoning and I think I am good about cleaning, but it is always in the back of my mind and it is freeing to know that I can eat my food raw or cooked and it wont hurt me. One thing that I need to research a little more is the money thing. It seems like it could cost a lot of money to buy fresh (and sometimes organic) foods, but compared to buying meat and buying foods that i never use, I think it is going to save a lot. It also helps that I plan the meals off of recipes and try to only buy enough for the week and use it all before I go to the store or market again. I have found websites that tell me the best things to buy organic and the things that do not really matter as much as long as they are washed. I try to buy nuts, beans, and grains (rice, quinoa) in bulk.
Anyway, I just wanted to organize my thoughts a little about this new endeavor. I am sure it will evolve (like our low carb adventure did.) but I am getting good things out of this and I think we will just keep making more hardcore positive changes.

Happy Christmas

So this is Christmas
And what have you done
Another year over
And a new one just begun
Ans so this is Christmas
I hope you have fun
The near and the dear one
The old and the young

A very merry Christmas
And a happy New Year
Let's hope it's a good one
Without any fear
And so this is Christmas
For weak and for strong
For rich and the poor ones
The world is so wrong
And so happy Christmas
For black and for white
For yellow and red ones
Let's stop all the fight
A very merry Christmas
And a happy New Year
Let's hope it's a good one
Without any fear
And so this is Christmas
And what have we done
Another year over
And a new one just begun
Ans so this is Christmas
I hope you have fun
The near and the dear one
The old and the young
A very merry Christmas
And a happy New Year
Let's hope it's a good one
Without any fear
War is over over
If you want it
War is over
Now... "

John Lennon
Happy Christmas