America

I have an American flag t shirt. There I said it. I’ve had it for awhile and although I do not wear it often, I have kept it in my drawer. On Memorial Day this year, I told my husband, I’m going to wear my America t shirt. For those of you who do not know, I am part of a young group of middle class Americans that is struggling to understand our identity in a country that makes decisions for the world that we do not always agree with. For the sake of this post, I will not assume that any of my readers agree completely with anything I say or project that you all think the same way that I do on issues.
I grew up very patriotic. I teared up to the sounds of the national anthem, and proudly sported red white and blue on national holidays. I felt proud of my nation because we are the best….Right? And I felt a real comradery with fellow Americans when it came to defending ourselves as a country whether in war, the Olympics, or any other time our “great(est)ness “ was in question. I loved songs like “I’m proud to be an American” and “God Bless America.” I remember my churches 4th of July cantatas that included songs such as these and also songs written specifically about God in America with the grand indoor fireworks finale. I lived for these times. They were exciting and gave me the same feelings I had when our high school basketball team would win a big game.
Then something happened. I went to college. I started to learn about the world, and America’s place in the world. I learned about wars differently, and decisions our leaders have made that have caused problems in other parts of the world. I was ashamed and disappointed in “the land I loved.” I did not really know what to do.
I did not just grow up an American, I was also a Christian. It was so easy for me to mesh the two. God is the greatest force in all the earth, and America is the Promised Land, right? God loves that America is flourishing and He wants so badly to bring all her people back to Him. God loves to help us in our wars. Of course He is on our side because we are a Christian Nation.
So I think you can see why it was hard for me when I had to separate the two in my mind. As I learned more about God and read the Bible with new eyes, I began to see that Jesus wasn’t just talking about Americans. Jesus loves all people and all nations. I can’t really explain the special place for Israel and all that, but I know that Jesus changed a lot of things and was very inclusive. SO what does that mean for me? How do I live in a place that is so America-centric and learn to love all people. What does it mean to be a Christian in another culture? I think this is also something American missionaries of the past had to learn. They had to learn to present the Gospel of Christ and not the Gospel of America. We are much more culturally aware now due to television and the internet, but I think secretly most Americans still think we are a little “righter” than the other cultures, and many American Christians have not separated the two.
So where am I now? There are times that I think the right attitude to have is complete rebellion and hate America for tricking me. How evil to assume you are the best nation and take it out on smaller countries. How arrogant to teach your young citizens to look on others as unequal and unfortunate. How self-centered to believe that you are the hope of the world and assume that everyone else is jealous and needs your help to survive. But then I remember something else, if I begin to hate America and wish bad things on her, I am no better than she is. I do not fully know how to live peacefully in system I think is corrupt, but the answer can’t be to hate my country that has tried to be good to me for the most part.
So I don’t know the right answer. I don’t know how to express the need for change and reform and still be supportive of a place that I do in fact love. This has turned into a very long blog on America, but I think it is important. Today is the 7th anniversary of 9/11. It is easy to have a lot of emotions today. It is easy to remember the attack on our soil that hurt our pride and gave us a nasty taste of war that most of us have never experienced. If we are angry about the war, it reminds of our national response to the events of 9/11. It makes us mad to think about the “war on Terror” (whatever the hell that means), but I do think it is important to remember the events of that day. To pray for the victims families and the survivors who still have medical problems or mental anguish because of the attack. I was still very patriotic that day and I was even asked to pray at my high schools memorial service. I don’t know how I would respond today, but I do know that I care about Americans. I also care about Muslims. I hate miscommunication and feuds. I hate pride and insecurity that turns to war to solve our problems or to take revenge. I want it to stop, but I won’t become anti- America. That makes about as much sense as a war on terror if you ask me.
In conclusion, I will wear my America t shirt, no matter what assumptions people make from it. I am proud to be an American. Not because we are the best or the greatest country ever, but because it is a beautiful place. The land and the people are incredible despite the flaws that sometimes rear their ugly heads. I am free to write blogs and express my feelings. I am free to praise God (which I question how many wouldn’t if we didn’t have the freedom to do so.) I am free to learn and work and the possibilities are endless. I strive to not let my liberties poison me, and I hope you will do the same.
God Bless the world. Teach us to live in peace and be good to your creation.