megan's blog

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Great Expectations!

So here we are. I feel like I have been pregnant for about 2 years! Not because I am uncomfortable or have a huge baby, but because I have had this mindset of expectation for 2 years. After the miscarriage I spent the next 10 or so months trying to get pregnant again. Finally I did and for the last nine months I have been planning for Nora. I love being pregnant with her. Many people have expressed disgust with my glowing attitude toward growing a huge belly and not having too many complaints, but I feel very blessed. The first trimester almost did me in. I was anxious about losing another baby, I was nauseated and threw up many mornings from the icky smell in my kitchen. I did not want to eat, but knew that protein was my friend. It was hard times, man. Then enter the second trimester. There is nothing better, I am pretty sure. I felt happy, I felt cute from the emergence of this little belly. I got to find out the gender of my baby, and I could eat again! I admit I was slightly dreading the third trimester. What would happen to my body, would I be sore, tired angry? Honestly it has not been that bad. I am just now at 38 weeks having some trouble getting comfortable in my own bed, but once I can calm myself down and get into a semi comfy position, I sleep really well. This post is not to be braggy, but the way, I just really wanted to share my experience. My girl will be here any day. I cannot wait to meet her. I have been playing with her for the last few months. I think I will know her pretty well when she makes her appearance.
I do not know exactly how she will change my life. I still plan to finish school and try to work. I have never wanted to be a stay at home mom, but now that I am getting closer to having her, I get sad to think about leaving her with someone else. I am sure i will get used to it though. I do have a baby wrap though and I plan to use it so that no one will even know I have my baby with me. :)
As I am nearing the end, I can almost understand why people want to have early babies, against the recommendation of the March of Dimes. :) I always thought they were doing it because they were uncomfortable or selfish or just did not want to be pregnant anymore (actually I still believe that about people), but maybe deep down they are just so excited to meet their little ones. Maybe they are just going to burst if they cannot hold her in their arms! Maybe they want to share the joy they are feeling with others. I dont know, its just a thought.